So I had a weird, but vivid dream today. The thrust of it was that I was caught up in some underground bloodsport. The first part of the dream was muddled, but each detail was crisp-I was invited to watch a fight, and was worried about the audience members being caught up in the crossfire. It wound up with me being told that I could either join or pretty much die.
The second part though was the most vivid, and unsettling. There were three of us who were to be tested for this sport. We were called wolf, sheep, and fox.
Sheep looked like an anthropomorphic sheep, a cross between one and a youngish boy. When I asked what his test was, the instructor clubbed Sheep over the head with a rock. Like it was a sleeping bag, out of Sheep’s corpse another Sheep unzipped itself,a different color. The instructor said he had passed his test, and in the dream I realized his test was simply to die.
I was Fox. The instructor put a rabbit before me. He said he was going to release it into the forest and I was to kill it. I didn’t like the idea, but I figured that I could treat it as food-killing the rabbit just to feed myself. I asked him for a knife, but he said no, I need to kill it with my bare hands to get blood on them. He released it, and the dream shifted.
He never said Wolf’s test, and it was apparent in the next part his was to kill both Sheep and me. I found him torturing a Sheep and killed him, going berserk, until the watchers that surrounded us tried to make me stop beating the corpse because we were too close to a residential area. The dream ended hazily with the me going back to the instructor, throwing down Wolf’s body, and saying “That’s my rabbit.”
It was more fragmentary, of course. Part of what happens after dreams like that is that I construct a narrative from them to unify them. But the first thing that struck me when I woke was: “This is PVP.”
A Wolf in it kills for the sake of killing. He enjoys the fight, sometimes to the point of my Wolf in the dream, “torturing” players by griefing them. No explanation was given, and as I mulled it over I thought that it was because that is the way the Wolf is. That’s why the test for them was never spoken. Not all of them are like that, but a wolfish desire for the fight is in us all.
A Sheep struck me as confusing, until it came to me later. In the dream I was wrong. The Sheep’s test was not to die, but to come back. In PVP many of us are Sheep. Sometimes its due to our inability to fight back, or sometimes its a pleasure in trying to be beaten or in outwitting our assailants. But the test of one is in coming back again after “death.”
The Fox took more mulling over. What I got from that was two things.
1. A Fox needs to know that there is no “Fair” in killing. I think the bunny test was to try and show that human sympathy in a fight would make you fail. In a PVP sense, if you want to win you need to submerge your normal empathetic side and realize this is a fight. Like the Fox I was, killing means blood on your hands, with no rationale. For PVP it means you will make someone lose, or lose yourself.
2. However it is possible not to prey on the innocent or weak, and fight for a purpose. I killed the Wolf over the rabbit. But in both cases I tried to justify what I did with reasons that made the difference between the Wolf and I, even though I seemed to have fought savagely in it.
I think that’s the third class in PVP-people who like it, are sometimes uncomfortable with it, but always do it for a reason. A Fox kills hens to eat-a Fox PVP’s always for a purpose a little beyond just enjoying predation or battle.
I didn’t expect to find three types in a dream, especially one that hovered on the edge of nightmare like that did.