So, EVE online tonight.

I get tired of running missions. I was very lucky and got a Cruor blueprint which I made into a ship and sold for a lot (to me) of ISK. That in mind, I said to hell with missions and decided to go back and try exploring to find wormholes.

I figured I’d equip an unarmed magnate, since I would be looking in low sec, and my experience with PvP so far is that they shoot, I die. So I fit myself out, cost was cheap, and carefully head lowsec way. Finally in 0.3 system after about an hour or more of false positives before it, I found a site I could finally use.

It was a cool moment, stumbling upon an abandoned pirate research station, filled with about 4 cannisters to salvage. I got to work, and when I hit the second one, npc pirates appeared.

I started to try and warp, but to my horror, the npc pirates had webifiers and warp scramblers. None of them so far had done that to me, even in tougher level 1 missions, or when I ratted them in lowsec where I got the Cruor drop earlier. Dead in short order.

The loss annoyed me. Seriously. It’s bad enough wasting the time to find the thing, when I could have just had easily stayed in empire space with zero risk and run level one misssions. But I think the worst aspect was that it was just another example of how taking chances leads to death, and retrenching.  Its pointless to even go back-it took 20 minutes to get there, and took me about 20 to get to a place where I could buy and fit a combat scanning frigate to go back. It’s not even the money or loss of it. I’d be happy if I salvaged successfully and got junk, just because it was like “Wow! I finally found a place!”

It seems like every time I step out in this game, the experience is negative. I try to PvP someone, they kill me. I join a corp, no one is on.  The positive aspects are really when I act safely. I got the cruor by looking for a lowsec system with zero people, killing the weakest rats, and booking at taking any serious fire. You constantly have to calculate in your head risk, and when you don’t, chances are you get nailed.

That’s the reason why I sold the Cruor. Having an awesome ship doesn’t even bring joy, because the truth is I’ll eventually lose it. In FFXI, while  I lost time, I could have joy in what I had accomplished because it could never be taken away, even with downlevelling. In EVE, the threat of loss tinges every aspect of what you do, and it dampens the experience, not adds meaning. It was meaningful to me that I found the installation in the first place. Even if I had salvaged it and been jumped by a player, that would be okay. That’s just as intended, it’s lowsec after all.

But being jumped by NPCs and not being able to finish really just hit hard. I’m going to try again, this time, fitting a combat frigate with the probes and offensive and defensive gear. But it’s more a case of not letting the bastards get to me then it is a fun experience.


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