There comes a time when what you used to love has changed too much to continue with. When I first started posting, it was in reaction to discovering the MMO Blogosphere, and I was deeply in love with Final Fantasy XI, a game I played for over five years of my life.
As I posted, and read other people’s thoughts, I came to realize I was done with FFXI, and entered the greater world of MMOs. But I struggled to find a game to play. Mabinogi, then Fallen Earth, then Aion, then EVE, then Champions Online. I briefly played Age of Conan, DDO, World of Warcraft, and a few other F2P games. I entered my first beta, Metaplace.
I couldn’t fit into any of those games.
Maybe it was because of my first games: Phantasy Star Online, Everquest Online Adventures, and FFXI. Maybe it was just change over time. I changed, but the games didn’t. Maybe it was how people changed, where everyone became a bit more closed to each other, and the days of small, fun game communities folded under the weight of needing hundreds of thousands of people.
I don’t know. But I do know this, that there isn’t anything I am looking forwards to for the first time of my gaming life. TOR, GW, and the Secret World don’t interest me in the least. They are too much like Rift. Small, safe changes and building on solid foundations. This may be wise marketing and planning, but it’s death to the soul.
There are three options to this. One is to be a gadfly, constantly complaining and hoping for meaningful change. One is to shut up and accept that life is different. The third is to walk away.
I choose the third.
Part of it is due to time. MMO generations are starting to approach real life generations. Games are lasting 7 years or more. That’s an awful long time to complain, or to settle. With consoles, 7 years has real difference. A RPG like Orphen on the PS2 is much less complex or as good looking as Persona 3. But with MMOs there is precious little change. A game now has little functional difference than a game released ten years ago.
Another aspect is a different side of time. A lot of people think that the best way to solve the problem I face is by going back to the classic, hard core experience. Wolfshead, for example. The problem with this is that I can’t also go back to my 18 year old self who had no problem with spending 6-8 hours grinding mobs or waiting for pops. Time always advances, and it isn’t kind. I can’t even so much as look at a SNK super combo without my wrists complaining.
These two reasons are why I’m hanging it up for good. I’ve canceled all my subs, and only will play Champions Online as a virtual chat room, to see and rp with friends. This blog will be shuttered, and I’ll stop posting on Massively. With good timing, Syp transferred his blog post about finding wonder to Massively, giving me a nice post to go out on.
I’ll be dumping the Twitter account too. It’s been great, even if I have been too lazy in posting and controversial in topic. Thanks to Tesh, Dril, and Drew for the fine comments, and take care all.